Slough, England:

There are shows that hook you from the opening thirty seconds, and others who are so repulsive from the start that you need to seek refuge in a dark sensory space. Netflix Whodunnit The dwellingFor example, slots into the former division, and anyone who spent a childhood studying the ripped sides of Archie Comics would be the first to tell you that Riverdale is taking the crowning glory in the latter. Disney+ thriller The stolen girlHowever, neither the bracket occupies.

Instead, this thriller falls with nonsensical der-for-hell-of-it turns (image of a screw made of Playdough, which is cast by a three-year-old), in the other overlooked, yet appreciated TV category: background noise. If you are looking for something, you can lurk on the couch but lack the energy to go upstairs to bed as a sensible person, congratulations. The stolen girl is the answer to a tired insomniac’s prayers.

Been there, done that

Contains slightly less charm than radiostatically, this completely forgetful thriller, adapted from the novel Playdate By Alex Dahl is invoiced as every parent’s worst nightmare. Spans five episodes, The stolen girl Circles around a girl who is, well, stolen. Denise Gough (Anora) Stars like Elisa, our designated irresponsible mother, even though she doesn’t like you calling her.

Elisa is careless enough to give her nine -year -old daughter, Lucia, the opportunity to take part in a sleep after being a friend of a suspicious kind white -blade woman who calls herself Rebecca (Holliday Grainger from Strike). The charming Rebecca also has a daughter of the same age as Lucia, and one thing leads to another where Elisa accepts to let her daughter spend the night on Rebecca’s – a step she will heartfelt for the rest of the show.

For any mothers who are already on duty to overly visible women at the school gates, The stolen girl is an excellent example of why they should not trust. Unfortunately for Elisa, Rebecca has her own agenda that at this time she has refused to share with the audience. For the time being, all we know is that she has set a dishonest plan in motion to whip Lucia far away from her family for reasons best known for herself. She reads most of the heavy lifting to a Dodgy Builder-like man who fortunately for an otherwise uninspired police force ends up being incompetent to be filmed in a key space on CCTV.

Whether Rebecca does this just for kicks or because she has taken a certain reluctance to Elisa is something that later becomes clear, but does not worry if you give in to that insomnia and miss most of the explanation. Don’t be alerted by waking up, to learn that Rebecca is now called Nina, is transferred to a brunette and speaks fluent French. Yes, she leads a double life.

Yes, she knows a thing or two about kidnapping. No, she doesn’t always choose the best henchmen. Yes, she knows how to dispose of the said problematic henchmen. Yes, she has her reasons. No, her method of mastery is not really what a trained therapist would recommend. Yes, Elisa deserves everything that was going. In short, there is nothing here that has not already been done scores of times in any Harlan Coben thriller (in neither book nor screen format) about a cloudy past that catches you up.

Are there any redeeming properties?

In terms of plot, the short answer is: no. As is the standard practice of this special brand of fiction involving criminals joining with children, there is not a single police officer with any fantasy or initiative. Of course, fans of thrillers and crime fiction already know that expecting that big brains from a police force are like having a pigeon flying in through an open window and expecting blind obedience when you ask it to go away. In other words, you would have better luck in turning lead into gold. In the opening episode of SherlockFor example, Benedict Cumberbatch’s titular character directly accuses a particular detective of lowering IQ for the entire street.

While the police force in The stolen girl It may not be as obviously weak as the cop who so annoyed sherlock, they are still slow (or at least, unmotivated) enough to be overlooked by Outwitted by Young Selma, a journalist who is the one who is brown, female and gay, crosses three diversity boxes in a felling.

Selma’s willingness to live is leaping away by having to cover news of wrong pigs. However, dulls than washing work have not diminished this journalist’s spark, and her antenna starts to Twang after she Espies Elisa’s repeated appeals on Instagram to help find her daughter. Selma decides on the basis of Elisa’s lack of presence on social media up to a few years before something is “off” about her. The lesson to be learned here is that if you also never bother to create an Instagram account because you do not see the point, you can also find yourself under the grace of a journalist who is bored out of her mind after writing pig-related content.

And then Selma begins her study and performs a simple reverse Google image to identify an important proof that is not something that arises for someone in the investigative team. Does she succeed? Is Elisa reunited with Lucia? Does Rebecca/Nina get her to come? Is Selma ever being promoted?

In any case, take the plunge and find it out for yourself, but please don’t fall for IMDB reviewers in raptures about “phrases” and “a journalist’s most important role” or a “layered script”. There is no soundtrack that will insert in your head, nor any characters whose decisions make sense. The actors do the best they can with the material they have been given. You don’t have a hope of finding out any of the turnaround for yourself, so at least the burden of trying to reveal the plot on your own is taken by you.

For the low brigade out there, there is a little glimpse of hope here, and it is Jim Sturgess who plays peace, Lucia’s father and Elisa’s criminal lawyer husband. If you are plagued by the repeated thought that the painfully confused appearance of peace looks like a boy band lead singer far more than a member of the legal profession, you will not take wrong.

Sturgess’ other claim of fame plays Jude in Across the universe (2007), from which he spent much of his screen time with Serenade his lady love after choosing with the Beatles songs and a cock of an eyebrow. Sturgess seems to have aged almost a week ago his Jude days, and if we can get our hands on no matter what anti-aging potion he is on, everything is not lost.

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