“I’m just grateful that he didn’t kill me!”
Shama had suppressed memories of an incident at the university when she had rejected a boy’s ‘offer’. The boy had taken it quite hard, and Shama had to constantly cuddle from her friends as she passed them, as well as verbal bullying in class by using derogatory, yet ambiguous words to target her.
This had taken a toll on Shama, but she never sought help from her family or teachers. She confided in her small group, mostly women who were unable to help. She felt vulnerable and anxious throughout her time after this and was even on the verge of dropping out.
Now Shama works and had thought the university’s episode was behind her, but Sana Yousuf murder of a stalker has triggered all the negative feelings she felt so many years ago. She is not able to handle them and has sought help.
Shama is not the only one affected by the teenager’s murder. According to a mental health practitioner based in Karachi, the number of girls and women between the ages of 10 and 60 who come in for sessions after Sana Yousuf’s murder is spoken to more than 50 a day.
The mental health athlete added that girls and women experience Vicarious trauma after the teenager’s murder that arises when a person learns about or hears about traumatic events that others experience, leading to negative psychological effects. This can be done through media exposure, such as news or social media, and can result in symptoms similar to those experienced by the direct victims of the trauma.
*Asma, one of the biggest income takers in her family, travels to and from work via public transport. Since the murder, she has felt extremely vulnerable and is unable to tackle the stress, which is why she reached a mental health practitioner.
“I travel to work using public transport, and every day I am abused and harassed by random men of all ages. I feel anxious. I can’t share this with my family because they can’t help me and want to feel anxious. I can’t leave my job. It’s hard to work under constant stress.”
She said, “I’ve never thought of raising my voice. And now with this incident I will never say anything because I fear someone might kill me.”
*Farhana, who planned to begin a food vlog during his summer vacation. She created an ID and started uploading faceless content, but now she is considering this.
“I disabled my account because I get extremely weird comments in my DM. They can’t even see my face, and even then the comments are scary. I’m just afraid I can offend someone and they kill me.”
60-year-old *Marium said and remembered the harassment she experienced when she was younger, “a woman couldn’t go in a public area without anyone threw a paper with their number on it, invited her to tea or coffee, or just compliment her. This is an extremely traumatic thing, especially when I couldn’t tell anyone. I felt shame and thought I would be blamed for this. or to have to tell it.
Marium said she was glad she didn’t say anything to these men who knew what consequences she would have been exposed to. “I’m glad I don’t have a daughter; otherwise she would have experienced all abuse quiet.”
Marium said that despite all the girl and women’s empowerment, women and girls are targeted and are vulnerable, even today, social media is just another platform where they can be abused and harassed.
All of these women fear that any act that can be interpreted as a rejection can lead to violence. This invisible power causes fear and stress among women and brings back bad memories.
Umar Hayat, the man accused in Sana Yousuf’s murder case, is a bully and stalker who probably has low self -confidence and is an underachiever.
Created in a society that gives boys a privileged status based on their gender, some develop a magnificent delusion. They believe in their meaning that is mirrored in their parents and others. They begin to think that they have the right to get their way all the time. Rejection is unacceptable and is a criminal offense. Their bloated self -image and ego do not allow them to see women as persons found only if they are attached to a man.
This was the reason why Umar Hayat probably thought that Sana, a skilled young woman, was online trying to attract attention, and so he had to demand her for someone else. Her rejection of his ‘offer’ was a crime in his mind that had to be punished.
Abusers and cyber criminals like Hayat are bullies and generally weak. They have never achieved anything in life and are jealous of those who have. They will dominate others and improve their social status. They can have low self -confidence and want to feel better about themselves, and the only way they can do this is by trying to control others.
Events such as the murder of the teenager who just walked around in his life created online content affect not only young girls but older women. It reveals how vulnerable they are, which leads to finding comfort in anonymity and many withdraw from the public.
In this case, many will withdraw from online spaces, reducing their presence, which can ban harassment, abusers and criminals to believe that they have power over women, even online. It will also send a message to online users, especially women, that these bullies are more powerful and can cause harm. And in case of Sana it became reality.
Online harassment and abuse are a global topic for the vulnerable, especially children, women and the trans community. According to UN women, “millions of women and girls are influenced by digital abuse and technology relieved violence every year. Studies suggest that between 16 and 58 percent of women have experienced this type of violence. Data from different regions confirm that technology-facilitated violence against women is happening everywhere.”
The data was further simplified by UN women to regions that highlighted the seriousness of the situation: 50% of women over the age of 18 have experienced some form of technology-facilitated abuse in their lifetime from 12 countries throughout Eastern Europe and Central Asia; 60% of women’s Internet users in Arab states have experienced online violence and 28% from data collected from five African countries under the Sahara.
Data from WorldMets.org reveals that approximately 41% of women and 37% of men have experienced cyber stalking in their lives. Data about the trans community are not available. It also adds that over 70% of cyber stalking victims experience significant emotional distress, and 60% of cyber stalking -victims also experience offline persecution. However, only 1 in 3 victims of the cyber stalking incident reports to law enforcement.
According to a research from Plan International and CNNs as equals, collected data from 600 women and girls aged 13 to 25 in nine countries found that girls and women are often harassed online, and 1 out of 10 (11%) had ‘encountered harmful online experiences daily or almost daily’, while 40% are reported that have been harassed at least once a month.
Promises can help protect people online, but more importantly, actions are needed that can deter abusers, harasses and other criminals against pursuing and harassing others online.
Online allies, including men, can be created to help encourage and strengthen young people, women and transgender people to feel safe and stay online. If a threat arises, they can help counteract it by identifying and ashamed the perpetrators and immediately notify the authorities.
Authorities need to develop and enforce a system that not only protects people online but also offline because, as we have seen in the unfortunate case of Sana Yousuf, online threats can translate into the real, offline world with deadly consequences.
It’s time to make social media secure for vulnerable people.
*Names changed on request
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this piece are the author’s own and does not necessarily reflect Pakinomist.tv’s editorial policy.
