If you thought long marriages were all candlelight and chemistry, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are here to lovingly shatter that illusion.
On a recent episode of Live with Kelly and Markthe pair turned a random koala survey into a full comedy sketch about their own relationship.
Mark, comparing himself to the surprisingly cool animals, explained: “When they mate… Sometimes they’re not interested… Instead of getting crushed, they go back to sleep.”
Kelly didn’t miss the opening. “It’s just like you!” she shot back – before delivering the real punchline: “I put my retainer in. He hears the retainer pop in, it’s like a chastity belt!”
Romance? Immediately cancelled.
Leaning into the bite, Mark added, “I come to bed with my little eucalyptus leaf and I’m like, ‘Hey, do you want to be silly? No? Okay.'”
And yes, this is just another day of oversharing for the couple, who have been married since 1996. They’ve previously admitted that their schedules — and preferences — don’t quite line up.
Kelly prefers the night, Mark used to campaign in the morning.
“I told him, ‘Here’s the thing… It can’t always be your way… my way is only at night,'” she recounted.
But reality had other plans.
“I’ve got a retainer in… And he’s got his nosebands on. It’s like we’re the most repulsive, disgusting [people].”
Mark now admits defeat: “I’ve got to tell you, this job has really gotten in the way of that… It’s been the antidote to that.”
The moral of the story? Love evolves. Sometimes… it just comes with a holder.
