Former US defender Jay DeMerit explains his tunnel mentality: ‘I Had No Fear’

It all started in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Then it was onto a muddy pitch in February against Sudbury Town in England – and finally to face Lionel Messi and play every minute of a World Cup.

My mentality was always the same: the tunnel mentality.

When you enter the tunnel, you have a few minutes of calm before the storm. You have to go deep and create an unshakable confidence. Someone chose you to be there, so while it’s easy to think “I’m going to be crushed”, sometimes you have to convince yourself that you belong.

At the 2010 World Cup, Bob Bradley was masterful at picking the right guys for the right situations. He knew that a good team has all the same characters; it is full of different. He knew which characters were needed at the right time.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a character. I wasn’t afraid because I had gone through the hardest parts of my journey to get into the position where he could choose me.

When you come into a career from behind like I did, from Wisconsin, I had to fight to fit in on the field from the time I was 17 or 18 years old. And at that age you also try to prove to yourself that you are good enough.

What I learned from standing in those tunnels throughout my career is that as you stand in front of your opponents and wait for the referee to come out, there is a lull – a calm before the storm. This is where the tunnel mentality comes into play.

This also applies to all walks of life. If you walk into an interview for a job you’ve dreamed about, you’ve worked hard to get to that moment.

For me it was the tunnel. I have lined up against Lionel Messi, Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo – the best of the best.

When it’s time to go to battle, you must go deep within and create the ferocity and confidence necessary to ensure that you are unshakable. It takes a lot to hype yourself up.

Lionel Messi messes with Jay DeMerit on March 26, 2011 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

The first moment

When I joined Watford in 2004, I played two seasons in the Championship. There were some very good players in that league and I also got to play at Anfield in the FA Cup.

We did get promoted to the Premier League in 2006, though, and the first time I looked over the tunnel and thought, “Here we go,” was against Manchester United in our third league game of the season. It was at home at Vicorage Road, a 20,000-seater stadium. I was vice-captain that year and later became club captain. It’s not only a new league and better competition, but it’s also more responsibility.

We waited in the tunnel for the United team, which was full of international stars. Edwin van der Sar was on target. Paul Scholes and Michael Carrick were in midfield. On the wings for United were Ryan Giggs and Ronaldo.

I saw the Manchester United badge on the shirts and thought, okay, you’re in the Prem now, big boy. Are you ready to go?” It’s very easy to look at Ronaldo and think, “Oh my God, he’s so handsome.” But my tunnel mentality kept me focused.

Cristiano Ronaldo expects a tackle from Jay Demerit during an FA Cup semi-final in 2007. (Stu Forster/Getty Images)

Here are the two key steps to that mentality:

1. Gain confidence

The question I asked myself: How will you become the best version of you? And no one knew that better than me. For me it was gaining a huge amount of confidence. I had confidence that somebody believed that I could go out there in front of these people and play well – so I should.

2. Work ethic

I always say, work on what you’re really good at in the light, and work on what you’re not so good at in the dark.

For me, the light was very simple. My job was to win the ball and pass it to someone better than me. I had two rules for doing that.

I could be mad and get in front of attackers, hand check them and delay the player’s first touch. In those moments, I envision myself coming in as my best and winning these challenges.

I’ve always had the mentality, “I get to do this.” I’m going out and kicking Ronaldo. I went out and tested Rooney’s tenacity. I tested Didier Drogba in the air for 90 minutes. Do you know how many people who would line up for that opportunity would give their left leg for it? I will go out there with purpose and confidence.

Jay Demerit holds off a challenge from Wayne Rooney. (Richard Heathcote/Getty Images)

It’s really easy to get into the idea of, “How are we going to beat these guys?” I always did my best to get my mind to a place where I could walk out in control and feel empowered.

I think we’re missing that in the development side of the game, working on the things you’re not good at, whether it’s physical or mental. If you focus on that, when you come to these moments of light, you better be refined, you better be ready.

Thrown into the fire with the USA

My first start for the US national team was against Lionel Messi and Argentina at the Copa América in 2007. That summer also included the Gold Cup, which saw me on the bench for the second team in action at that tournament.

I played Messi when he was still No. 19. My job was to mark Hernán Crespo, who at the time was one of the best goalscorers in the world. In midfield, Juan Roman Riquelme pulled the strings. It was a star-studded lineup.

At the end of the day, like if you don’t believe you belong there and you can’t figure out how to convince yourself that you do, your performance will never be good. I was someone who really loved entering those environments as an apostate spirit.

You’ll always know who the strongest and fastest players are at the highest level, but who can hold their thoughts back when it’s chaotic? Who can keep calm?

I had this ability to stand in that tunnel and be the same player whether I’m playing in front of two people or 100,000. I really put a lot of mental effort into getting there.